Chansey

Sooooo… Chansey. I think I used to like this Pokemon when I was a kid, but now I find it kind of excessive and obnoxious. It like.. resembles a personality type I don’t like. I don’t know what you’d call it, but it usually results in the person becoming fat and round like that, lazier than possible, and fully into pursuing eternal comfort. There are many people of this type in the world, a lot of them living in 9-5 jobs, complaining they aren’t paid enough when they have an excess of EVERYTHING that they somehow could afford to buy, hardly ever leaving their house except on generic vacations, and being surprised someone out there doesn’t like watching TV. They’re very content with the work they do and don’t like things to change too much. I’m generally the opposite.. I get bored really easy once I figure out a schematic behind something, I don’t need much money to live, and I like to travel and experience real things. I find TV usually boring as fuck because there is a formula behind each episode, it’s usually really predictable, and not very often anymore are there well written shows.

That has little to do with actual Chansey. I can’t say much once again, because Chansey is a Pokemon I never used. Ever. Somehow. In a decade + of Pokemon existing and playing ALL the games, never have I used Chansey. Chansey creeps me out. It’s huge, extremely jovial, PINK, and it’s all about EGGS. Eggs are gross.

However, once when I was young, I saw an episode of Magic Schoolbus about how eggs grow into chicks. I thought, because eggs need mostly warmth to grow, I could put one in a tight blanket, hide it in my huge bookshelf cabinet in my former bedroom, and wait for it to incubate in the coziness. As I am typing, I realize I am lying, because I actually learned this in kindergarten in Poland, and I remembered it while watching that episode, and once again, now. What ended up happening was my mother and grandmother finding it, getting mad about wasting/spoiling eggs, and revealing the harsh fact to me that the eggs we eat from the grocery store are mostly sterile. On one side, that’s kind of sad, but on the other, we’re not eating babies.

Here’s some internet diarrhea:

• Pink Mafia
• Real Pink Mafia member
• This is just  a bad, weird idea. It has a sweet and caring nature despite its size? What does that mean?
• Real Chansey.
• Crochet Chansey
• Destroyed Chansey
• Male Chansey
• I just like this ok. I don’t see how that’s ‘chubby’, or Chansey.
• Jesus
• And finally, this is sincerely disturbing and gross. I definitely don’t want to hug that guy.

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